A beautiful mess

Your horoscope for June 28, 2006: Daily: Your life gets ever so much easier when you stop trying to make that person fit into every single role you think you require of them. Let them be who they are, and see their true nature for what it is.

I don’t believe in horoscopes, but I thought it was funny.

((may only make sense to me, btw))

I was sitting on my door step
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand
But I knew I had to do it and he wouldn’t understand.
So hard to see myself without him
I felt a piece of my heart break
But when you’re standing at a crossroad
There’s a choice you gotta make I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
and let go of some things I’ve loved to get to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
The only way I try to fly.
It’s sad but sometimes moving on when the rest of your life starts with goodbye.

I know there’s a blue horizon
Somewhere up ahead just waiting for me
But getting there means leaving things behind.
Sometimes life’s so bitter-sweet.

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
and let go of some things I’ve loved to get to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
The only way I try to fly.
It’s sad but sometimes moving on when the rest of your life starts with goodbye.

Time heals the wounds that you feel somehow… right now.

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
and let go of some things I’ve loved to get to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
The only way I try to fly.
It’s sad but sometimes moving on when the rest of your life starts with goodbye.

~ Carrie Underwood “Starts With Goodbye”

I’m waiting for these people to come that are supposed to install our new storm door. They are supposed to be here between 10 and 12. I hope they hurry up because i want to take a shower and stuff but I don’t want to while they are here, or before they get here when they could show up any minute. oh well.

Last night I talked to my brother Adam. he’s pretty funny. We actually talked for like 20 minutes about a bunch of nothing. He told me he’s planning on coming down for my birthday!! AND that he would try to make it to family weekend at Union in October. He told me i should have gone to school somewhere closer and I told him that he went to school in Missouri so that wasn’t any closer than Tennessee. He said that was true but it was the closest chiropractic school. and I told him, well, then he didn’t have to be a chiropractor. and he said that was true too, except if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be as cool as he is now. I guess I can’t argue there. I also told him if he couldn’t make it for my birthday we’d probably have to just cancel the party since everyone is pretty much coming to see him anyway since he’s so cool. He said he couldn’t blame them.

I tried to take a good picture of Tobey last night but he would not cooperate. He flat out ignored me for about 5 minutes while I tried to get his attention. He acted quite bored. I think the flashes were going to his head. He finally listened though when I offered him a treat (see 6th picture)

Lazy dog is STILL in bed too. He’s sleeping in the middle of a huge queen sized bed like he deserves it. what am I gonna do with him?

I’m pretty sure June can just die. at least it’s almost over. Three more days and June 2006 will cease to exist. I may just throw a party, just to celebrate the demise of June! anyway. Scuffy (my cat) died today. I never understood why people got so sad when their pets died… I’ve had cats before and they ran away and stuff, but I guess they never died, at least not that I was aware of. i’m sure they have by now. But I’ve never actually had a pet die before, and now I understand why those people were sad It was really weird… he got really bad in a matter of like two days, he was basically fine on Sunday. Today was the worst, he went downhill in a matter of hours. It got to the point that he couldn’t even stand up. it was so sad. We took him to the Eastside Animal Hospital but he died almost as soon as we got in there. I’ve had that cat since I was 3 years old, and now I’m almost 20, so I’ve had him almost 17 years.

I dont know what I’d do if something happened to Tobey.

WHY am I awake? i woke up at 6:23 this morning!! 6:23!!!! when my mom was taking a shower before work. I haven’t been up this early in a loooong time.

**EDIT** I went back to sleep until 10:30… I feel normal now. whew.

Snail mail letters are fun! I got one today from my uncle. i haven’t seen him in…a long time. like at least 5 years, probably more. we hadn’t spoken in that time either until last summer when I invited him to my graduation and we wrote letters back and forth a few times. This particular letter was because i invited him to my birthday/going away to college party which is on July 8th. he can’t make it but he still sent me a birthday card and money :] So I wrote him back a letter and put it in a birthday card. the card was really cute. His birthday was sometime last week so I sent him a belated birthday card. It has Lazurus on it and it says “I was dead! Dead I tell you! But now I’m alive! Thats why I didn’t send you a birthday card!” then you open it and it says “My excuse isn’t quite as good…”

anyway.

I’m eating healthy! woo hoo. for some reason.. i’ve been eating things like yogurt and cheerios for breakfast, and soup and tuna for lunch. i’ve just been in the mood to eat healthier for some reason lately. and i haven’t had soda in I don’t know how long. I know I had some when I was at Eric’s because he thought i drank the last of his Mountain Dew :-p but i haven’t had much since then and that was about 3 weeks ago. I’ve been drinking juice and water! buuuut I’ve still had sweets. i had a peanut butter cup milkshake the other night at Steak & Shake, and i went out for ice cream with Hope the other day, and my mom made strawberry shortcake! but i guess that’s okay because strawberries are good for you, and the shortcake doesn’t have much fat in it and we have low-fat cool whip :-9

I move to Union in exactly 2 months.

Someone did a really crappy thing to my mom tonight. It was officially the suck. It makes me so angry.

It was like… so dumb. I can’t even put it into words. dumb doesn’t do it justice either. It was absurd…deranged, idiotic. GRRR

I can not for the life of me understand why people are the way they are!

that has been demonstrated in sooo many ways to me through so many different people the past few weeks.

it especially sucks when it was people you thought actually cared about you…

and all of these different situations aren’t really related either.

which makes it even worse.

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I’m not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I’m still waiting I’m through, with doubt,
There’s nothing left for me to figure out,
I’ve paid a price, and i’ll keep payingI’m not ready to make nice,
I’m not ready to back down,
I’m still mad as hell
And I don’t have time
To go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I know you said
Why can’t you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and i kind of like it

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don’t mind saying,
It’s a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice,
I’m not ready to back down,
I’m still mad as hell
And I don’t have time
To go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

I’m not ready to make nice,
I’m not ready to back down,
I’m still mad as hell
And I don’t have time
To go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I’m not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I’m still waiting
—The Dixie Chicks

Not Ready to Make Nice

If I could I would sing that to alllll of those people!

on a good note, I visited Northside today which was cool. I liked it. and I layed out in the sun today and actually got somewhat of a tan. now I’m not so blindingly white anymore :]

Yesterday I went with Hope and Bryan to Jeremy’s last OVW show… we also saw Sonny, James, Jennifer, Amy, Missy, hmmm…David and Mary, Charissa and Micah, Moses, Spencer and Pugs. And some other people that I’m sure I’m forgetting. Anywho, it was fun. I’ve only been to one or two other shows a long time ago and he didn’t even have any matches and was just in the Battle Royale, and was the first to get kicked out. This time he had a match, won it and won the Battle Royale. So that was cool.

So I took like 70 pictures, hoping at least 1 for every 20 that I took would come out decent. I went through and picked out the best ones. Not to say these are great either… but it gets the point across.

Brian Heart!

me and Hope. The Angels made an appearance!

he won!!

aww.. mom doesn’t love me anymore!

but dad does! yay!!

The Angels with Brian Heart himself!

So I guess the plus side to having no job and no life until the late afternoons/evenings is that I can sit around all day in my pajamas and be lazy. Today during said laziness I re-did the main banner of my website and updated it with newer pictures. You can view it here. :]

Now i’m gonna get dressed and run to the bank…

I need a tan.

Yesterday evening/night/the wee early hours of this morning were pretty good times. It started off with a small scrapbooking party with Moses. A few hours and two finished pages later we went to her house to meet Spencer after he got off work. Then we met up with Sonny, Pugs, Jeremy, Missy and Amy at Steak-n-Shake…then later to Amy’s house for more fun!

Beware: they’re random!

 
Moses not wanting her picture taken
“My face is ugly!”

Spencer: “What’s ugly?”
Moses: “My face!”

Transition to Amy’s house. Moses took my camera and took these…

Jeremy

me

Sonny

I guess Jeremy was tired of playing Spoons

me and Amy

Then Spencer stole my camera and took these…

then Amy showed us the picture from when she met Steven Baldwin

and Pugs lit a candle that he wrote “poop” on

I just got home like 20 minutes ago. I’m tired… but I’m not. I guess that’s what I get for sleeping til like 11 most days anymore.

I scrapbooked today! it’s been at least a year since the last time I did. I need to get motivated for it though… maybe inspired is a good word. i just don’t seem to be as into it anymore.. maybe it’s because I left off in October of senior year…so I have 8 million pictures to scrapbook and it just seems impossible so I give up.. plus it’s messy. I’ll finish it one day though…I hope.

I miss Kristen. But I was happy to get a call from Caleema, her cousin who is about 6 now I believe. she’s so cute!! and she loves me. I hope I can go up to Pittsburgh for a little bit… I guess that’d be a plus of not getting a job.. I’d have time to go up there. haha I need a job though. fo’sho.

Well I guess I am gonna head to bed. I probably should to avoid sleeping half of the day away tomorrow…