A beautiful mess

March starts in 42 minutes. I hope March is better than February. I get to start it out by going to the doctor for a CAT scan on the second day of it though. Hopefully it brings good news.

One can only hope.

I am so sick of being in this ever-present horrible, depressed mood.

I’m not sure how it’s possible to be so happy, yet so sad, scared, kind of broken and just blah all at the exact same time.

But such is life.

And such will pass.

Hopefully.

So both of my classes were cancelled today. The first one I didn’t know about until I got there, and the 2nd..well, I didn’t know about it until i got there either but it was posted on Oncourse. So yeah…a useless trip to school today. I definitely wish I’d known, I could be sleeping right now!!

Yo no puedo dormir.

Umm… I don’t think having a constant feeling of wanting to cry is good for you. I think it’s because for a long time I told myself I didn’t need to cry, I had no right to cry or that crying was stupid. So today it finally built up and released itself, but in little, random spurts. That sucks.

On a good note, I did finish my computer lab (not a computer lab, as in a room with a bunch of computers, but rather a lab for my computer class) that’s due tomorrow. and the exam, for the same class. and the chapter 6 questions. and the 5 pages of seminar stuff, for the same class. and the forum post. all for the same class.

anyway….

now that i’ve depressed everyone, my job is done. I will be going now.

I’m in my computer class. we’re learning how to make websites. woo hoo. yep. I’m starving too. We are out of every breakfast food known to mankind at my house. that is all. must go now. bye

These are supposedly 27 questions that no one would ever think to ask.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I don’t remember…the first time I looked in the mirror was probably when I was brushing my teeth so.. I dunno

how much cash do you have on you?
none.. plastic is my friend

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “TEST”?
vest

4. Favorite planet?
hmm…I remember we had to do a “book report” on a planet in like 3rd grade, I picked Saturn. I’d say I’m probably pretty partial to Earth though

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
my mom

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
I dunno if I have a favorite, I need some new ones though

7. What shirt are you wearing?
a t-shirt with a bunch of bicyclists on it that I’m going to sleep in

8. Do you “label” yourself?
I guess I do in the sense that i tend to look at myself as other people have labeled me

9. Name the brand of your shoes you’re currently wearing?
no shoes, just my fuzzy warm socks

10. Bright or dark room?
more dark than bright

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
reminds me of the week on the set of Elizabethtown!!!

12. what happened to number 12?
I give up…what?

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I think I was in bed about that time

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
“ok”

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
no clue…

16. What’s a saying that you say a lot?
“yeah yeah yeah”

17.Who told you they loved you last?
my mom

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Tobey!

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
none..haven’t used film in awhile.. I do have a ton of digital pics I need to print though

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I dunno.. probably 18

22. Who do you miss the most?
my Dad!!!

23. What is your current desktop picture?
a picture of me and my dad

24. What was the last thing you said to someone & to whom?
“good night” to my mom

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change one thing of the past what would u choose?
change one thing of the past…I would spend more time with my dad

26. Do you like someone?
you mean like like?

27. The last song you listened to?
“Because of You” by Kelly Clarkson.. on my yahoo music station

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m in a good mood despite the fact that when I got home from church my mom showed me the new filing system she made (in pink files lol).. anyway, there was a file called “Ron – personal” (that would be my dad). So yeah, there was a copy of the eulogy that my uncle Richard wrote and read at his funeral. and I of course cried, because that’s what I do. My mom said she actually cried a lot when she read it earlier, too. I miss him sooo much!!!!!

So, newsflash…tonight is the Superbowl. I can hardly contain my excitement. see..
ok, not really but I thought the dancing banana was cute.

Anyway. I am off to upload my lab for my computer class.

I found this picture of me and my dad…I’ve seen it before, but I guess I had forgotten about it because it’s been packed away. anyway, it made me happy because I love finding old pictures of me and him It was taken on my mom’s birthday (September 13th) in 1987 (meaning I was a little over a year old) and he was in a play as a pirate (hence the hat & outfit).

anywho…I’ve been working on my lab for my computer class. It’s all easy stuff, just really time consuming (over 200 pages of lab)..grr. but that’s ok because I’m almost done!:)

In other news, I got an A on the test I mentioned the other day! yay!

I’ve been listening to Shawn McDonald a lot again recently because I put him on my iPOD…I remember why I love his music so much! He’s coming to Indy on April 15th…maybe we should go?! I’ve also been listening to Lindsay Lohan..haha. I dont really like her but I like 2 of her songs. weird. And of course…Rascal Flatts. I like their new song.

ooh I might I have a job. I’ll know for sure tomorrow.